Day 3

Today was the day we got to meet Little Man! He is a handful and totally all boy! We loved getting to spend time with him. The day began with some awesome temps as you can see in the pics. Then we went to the DSS offices. There we spent 5 grueling hours going over his file. Medical records, family history, etc etc. Tons of fun! Then we were dismissed for lunch. When we got to the car, wouldn't you know that we could not even get out of our parking space because of the ice! So TJ had to con a guy inside to come and put some kind of miracle crystals down in front of our tires so that we could get out. After lunch came another hour of legalitys. More fun stuff when all we wanted to do was go see our son. We finally got to do that around 230. What a handsome energetic little guy! Because his family had been working with him, he already knew us as mommy and daddy and called us that right away. Talk about wanting to cry! We spent about 2 hours there and then had to leave but the foster parents are so awesome that they invited us over for dinner so that we could spend time with him and his foster family. What a blessing they are! we got to meet all of his foster siblings and they are the best! Anyway, enjoy the pics!

Day 2

Lets see where to start today... We got up a little earlier than planned. We just couldn't sleep, in the end that we a good thing. So we thought that we knew cold. Nope. It was -5 when we woke up. Yep that is a negative sign in front of the 5! Cold! So we loaded back up and headed west. We got about 30 minutes outside of Rapid City and it started snowing. Big puffy pretty flakes. It was awesome! The good thing here is that they do not get the ice that we do at home so driving is no big deal. Plus they have these huge snow plows that run all day. Imagine that, running the snow plows while it is snowing. getting rid of the snow so that it doesn't pile up and make it even tougher to clean. Rocket science right? Anyway, we got here before we could check into our hotel due to the time change that we did not figure in. So once again, we went to the mall. We have done some awesome shopping the last 2 days! When they have sales here they have monster sales! Anyway, we messed around for about 2 hours and then came to the hotel. Our hotel has an indoor water park which I need to get pics of. So TJ and I went and rode some slides and the lazy river. Now we are in the room and about to nap. Its been a long couple days! Tomorrow we go to the DHS office at 8 and will have hours and hours of paperwork and stuff before we get to see our son for the first time! We will meet at his foster parents house at 2 here so at 3 your time. If you think about us, please send up a prayer as we are super excited but also nervous! On to the pics real quick...

1. This is just a pic of the snow. That was our view for most of the drive

2. This is from when I finally remembered to take a pic of the temp in the car. this was after about 2 hours on the road. I will try to do this every day

3. This is the Missouri River. It is really big and frozen solid! TJ and I had never seen a river this big totally frozen so we thought it was cool.

4. Our home away from home for the week. The first thing we did was empty out the suitcases and try to make it look a little neater but what can you do?

Until Tomorrow friends!

Day 1

So we have made it to our first stop. we are in Sioux Falls, SD. We pulled in around 4:15 checked into the hotel and went to the mall. It was great to be able to get out and walk around in a heated place! We left home today and it was nice here it is freezing! Talking to friends at home, it got to 76 degrees. Yep that beats here by about 50 degrees. Seriously. There is a ton of snow on the ground and its cold. The good news is that they take care of there roads so much better. There was not a bit of snow on the ground. Tomorrows agenda begins bright and early again at 8:00. We have about 5 more hours of driving before we get to Rapid City. Since we are going to have some down time, we are planning on making the drive into Sturgis and messing around for a little while. Other than that, no real plans but turning in early as Monday is going to be a long day! I posted some pics so that you guys can see how the beginning of our trip has gone.

Nesting?

So I have been cleaning and cooking like crazy this week. I just want everything to be ready for LM to get home. I have scrubbed all the bathrooms until they sparkle. The floors have all been swept and mopped and the grout scrubbed. All the linens have been changed and washed. I was talking with my friend the other day and she said I was nesting. I had no idea that even non pregnant expectant moms would nest! I laughed but it totally does sound exactly like what my 8 months pregnant friend is doing right now!
On another note, we have one of our ex youth members house sitting for us while we are gone. He is going to stay here, take care of the cats and just watch the house while we are gone. We don't really have any family in the area to help out so Kory is the next best thing. I think that he is pretty excited that we trust him enough to leave him the whole house for a whole week. He is a good kid though and a freshman in college. We are working on the finishing touches before our trip. I have to finish with the laundry and get things packed up. Tomorrow the plan is to run to town and finish the shopping. I need to get some snacks for in the car and some food for the house so that Kory has something to eat. Get the car washed and detailed, install the car seat, etc etc. I cant believe that we leave Saturday morning! TJ and I have not decided if we are going to post pictures on here and facebook or just here while we are gone. I am sort of thinking just here until we get back so that only those with this address will get to see him first.

Mommy and Daddy

We talked to LM tonight. Well as much as you can talk to a just turned 3 year old active little boy. We spoke with his foster parents longer. He is doing amazing. They go through his family book with him several times a day. He calls us mommy and daddy and know that we are coming to get him soon. Brad (his fd) said that he talks about it all the time! We do not really know how much he understands but it is awesome that he can see us in a picture and know that we are his mommy and daddy and that we love him! And we do. That is our son and we love him so much already. He has been prayed for and loved for so long now and in one week from today, we will have total custody and we will be getting ready to put him to bed for the very first time. It is so surreal and we felt that this day would never get here. We are so ready for this. We love you LM and you are right, we are coming just as soon as we can.

Loved

Through much of this adoption process, TJ and I have felt pretty alone. We had a couple friends that had been with us through the whole thing and were guiding us through, but for the most part, we did it alone. Some of it was by choice because we are very private people, other just because no one who had not been through what we had understood or really knew what to say or anything. Sometimes people try to be encouraging and everything but they say the way wrong things.
That is so not the point of this post though. The point is to really just say how blessed we really are. We have felt so alone and yet God has shown us that we are never alone. This past month has been so crazy. I can't believe that we have only known about LM for a month now! How time flies! In that time span there was Christmas, New Years and not one but 2 snow storms! We have been rushing around like crazy trying to get everything done and ready for our little guy to come home. We are finally to a place that we feel at least somewhat prepared!
Anyway, back to being alone. As soon as we got the call that we were selected, my first call other than TJ was to my best friend Alison. I knew both my parents were at work and so I could not get in touch with them. Anyway, Alison and her husband have walked this journey with us. Often giving us the encouragement to not give up and to try again. SO needless to say, they were so excited for us! Alison started planning a shower. Since where we live now is not our hometown, or even our home state, I did not really think that many people would come and didn't really want to have a shower. But we did and I was so blessed that all my girlfriends from this area came. I am not the type person to have a lot of artificial girlfriends. I have few friends but they are all really close and they all came. We had a great time and TJ and I are so grateful for each and every one of those girls.
TJ and I went to church this Sunday. That is not a huge deal in itself as we always go to church. The difference is that we have recently switched churches. We love our new church. It is so amazing and we feel right at home. Our new pastor and his wife are Alison adoptive parents. How cool is that?! They have prayed for us, and with us since we have told them about our long journey. What a blessing they have been. Anyway, totally expectantly another woman in our church offered to throw us another adoption shower. This really touched TJ and I as we have not been attending this church for very long. We are so blessed that God has led us to such a wonderful church. We have really realized that we need to rely more on our church and even though we are private people, God has called us to support each other and lift each other up in prayer. And the only way to do that is to share with our church family. Thank you God for Dorothy and for Sherry. I am so blessed to have such wonderful mentors in my life and women that I can look up to as moms and to have them love on our baby boy!

The Room

Here are a few images of LM's room. We are still waiting on several things but for the most part it is done. We are waiting on a bookshelf and a long shelf to put above his dresser. There is also some art work that we are working on to go one the walls. It is just not complete yet. We are also wanting a rug since our house only has hard wood floors. TJ is so excited that when we picked LM's suitcase up the other day, TJ wanted to immediately go home and pack it up! We still have about 10 days before we leave. 10 days really isn't that long considering how long we have waited but it feels like forever when you know that you have a child and you cannot hold him see him, touch him, or even really talk to him! The good news is that our family book got to his foster family last night. Our book is pretty cool if I do so say myself. TJ and I spent alot of time on it. We have pictures of everyone in our family in there and a brief introduction so that the foster family and later TJ and myself can go through the book with him. His foster family is going to go through the book with him at least once a day. LM is old enough to know at least a little bit about what is going on. The goal is for him to be able to recognize us when we meet him the first time as his new parents. Because we will literally see him for the first time on Monday evening for about an hour before we get custody on Tuesday morning for good.

Update

So we have been in the middle of chaos lately, trying to get ready for LM to get home. His room is now almost done. It is done enough for it to be considered ready for him. It is just the fun little touches that need to be added now. TJ and I are taking our time and slowly getting things that we like. We did not want an over the top theme nor did we want a baby room or anything like that or any kind of cheesy cartoon character. TJ is so not a fan of anything that has characters on it other than toys. No clothing, bedding, or anything like that. I agree with him to an ex tint. I don't mind characters on pjs but... I follow TJ's lead. As soon as I remember to, I will post some pictures of his room on here. I have already posted some in progress pics on facebook. Anyway, we have officially told everyone about the name change. We do not even want him to hear his old name after we get custody of him. That way he adjusts faster to the new name.
One thing that we are pretty bummed about is our travel dates got pushed back one week. LM CW in SD is new and this is I believe the first case that he has ever worked on. He missed his travel deadline so that pushed us back a week so that he could get his stuff in on time. No hard feelings toward Tyler though. He really is doing a great job and is pushing through everything and is extremely helpful and doesn't mind me and TJ being a pain in the butt with our questions. So now we will be leaving on Sat the 29. Tyler will be coming down on Feb 15 and staying for the week just to make sure that LM is adjusting and meeting with his new doctor and the CW here that is going to over see the case until the adoption is final. Ought to be fun times!!
My best friend also gave us an adoption shower this past weekend. TJ and I are so blessed to have such amazing friends! My mom drove up too so that she could be here. She is so excited as LM is the first grandchild on my side of the family. LM got so many wonderful gifts and we already have some great play date ideas coming up! All of my friends are stay at home moms like I am going to be and so we will have tons of fun! Alison, who was a great friend to me growing up and an even better friend now, has helped us so much these past couple years. They have been with us through the loss of both babies, then held our hands and walked us through the homestudy process as they had done it a year before we started. She and her husband have been so awesome and we are blessed to have them in our lives. And we are so excited because her girls actually belong to the same tribe that LM does and Alison and I are also members of the same tribe! Our kiddos will definitely get to share that culture and heritage with each other which I find great since we are so far from where there actual tribe lives. Our other friends are just as great. All of my friends that showed up at LM's party are more than just my friends, Alison is the only one that I have known for a long time. The others for as short as 5 years. But they are more than friends and more like family. God has placed so many awesome people in our lives and we are blessed. We cannot wait to introduce our little guy to so many wonderful people!

On to another subject that is a little touchy. It is still about LM but in another aspect. We have so many people that are wanting to meet him and love on him which is wonderful. The only issue with that is we have been told not to have too much contact with other people and to over whelm him for a good while. LM has been in several places with different people way too much for his short years. He needs to finally get into his forever home and really learn that he can count on only me and TJ to meet his needs. Since we missed out on the early years of bonding, this seclusion has been recommended to try and bridge those gaps. We are not totally planning to keep him locked up in the house or anything, but there will be no huge coming home party or anything like that. We are planning on maybe introducing him to one new set of people a week or every couple weeks until he has adjusted. This has really upset some people. That is not our intention at all but for now on, our main concern is our son and what is best for him. And what is best for him is to learn that no matter what, his mommy and daddy love him and that we are not going anywhere. Everyone else is just on the peripheral. It is not that they don't matter not at all. He has pictures of all of his family and knows their names by looking at the pictures. We will tell him about them and he will meet them just for now it can only be a little at a time. I know that they are only hurt because they are excited and want to meet him. We totally understand that. We are not doing this to leave anyone out or to make them feel like they do not matter. We are blessed to have so many people care about our little boy and hopefully he adjusts quickly and we can get on with our normal activities. So if you are reading this and you are one of the people that want to come and visit, you are welcome to call or email and we can set up a time for that. We just want to limit the number of people at first. It really is nothing personal!
Whew that was one long post! More to come I am sure!

Name

Every since we found out about LM we have been trying and trying to decide what we are going to call him. Remember that he is 3. He is not a tiny baby who does not know his name. However both TJ and I do not care for the name that his birth family gave him. It is not a normal name but his first and middle names are both made up and have no real meaning. His first name is so confusing that everyone including LM pronounces it differently. That is one of the reasons that we have decided that we are going to change his name just a little bit so that both of his names are recognizable and easily pronounced. We did not want to change it so much that he is going to not be able to transition to the new name. We have done a lot of research, some saying that he is so young that he will adjust with no problems and some saying that he will be resentful and that if we change it than in essence we are saying to him that we do not accept him and that we are trying to turn him into something else. That is so not why we are doing this. We are trying to give him a name that he can be proud of in the future something that as an adult he will not mind people calling him that. All we are planning on doing is switching a couple letters in his first name and the pronunciation of his middle name. Neither one are huge changes. And we are not going to push it. We plan on telling him that with the new mommy and daddy, new house, new town, new life, he is also getting a new name. We are only telling people the new name so that no one calls him by his old name. If he does not start responding or flat out refuses to answer to the new name than we will go back to a shortened version of his given name. Since the adoption will not be final for at least 6 months than we have plenty of time to figure it all out and decide whether we will legally change his name or not. But for now we are planning on the new name as being his legal name. He will always have the option when he is grown to change it back. But like with all adoptions, once the adoption is final, whatever we put on his birth certificate and new ss card will be legal and his old stuff is in a sealed file that not no one can get into. Whether it be us, his birth family, or even him as he grows, so in essence we will tell him what his real name was if he ever wants to change it back but for all legal reason and everything else the name that TJ and I choose is the name that will be his legally and in the eyes of everyone else. We cannot wait to see our son! We are definitely on countdown now. 10 days until we leave! So excited!

Simplify

It has been so crazy around our house lately. We had the holidays, getting LM's room ready and TJ's bday, travel plans, etc. It has gone by so fast and yet so slow! We just want to hold our little boy and let him know that we are his forever family.
Anyway, the point of this post... Bro. Jack started a new sermon series this past Sunday. It is going to be about living a simple Christian life and what that means. This past week was an over view but the main point was that there is way too much noise in our lives. That includes our relationship with Christ. We can get so caught up in the things of our walk with Christ that we forget the basics of what it is about. We can over commit ourselves even to the church and neglect the main parts of our Christian life. Simplify is going to be the theme of our church this year. After church, TJ and I were talking about all of the noise in our lives and how we want to cut it all out. So we have adopted this as our theme as well. We have already gone through our closets and are getting ready to take a ton of stuff to the shelter. We really do not need those things they are just things. I never really realized how much stuff TJ and I have. We go through our stuff at least twice a year and donate lots but we still have more! Part of it is that we have both been working and don't have any kids. When we wanted something whether it was clothes or whatever, we just went and got it. We had way more than we needed. This really is the wrong way to live. I just cringe now thinking about how much more we could have done with that money that we wasted. Yes wasted. We could have donated it to so many different places and made a difference. We have been richly blessed and we had abundance. Yet we spent it on ourselves. How embarrassing is that?! Anyway, we do not want our son to grow up that way. We have already talked and come to some great conclusions about how we want to raise him. We live in such a materialistic area not to mention generation. In times when kids as young as 8 have Iphones and laptops, when parents try to be their kids friends instead of their parent, we just want more for our son. We want him to appreciate the things in his life and not take them for granted. This is going to be tough for us because this little boy is an answer to so many prayers. We have waited so long to have a son and it will be hard to tell him no. Not just hard for me and TJ but he is the only grandchild on my side of the family. My family is going to want to spoil him rotten. He deserves it after what all he has been through in his young life. But we do want him to know that things are not important. Here are a few of the ways that we have come up with to instill in him the importance of others and of giving rather than receiving.
1. Christmas-- this one is not an original idea. We heard about another family doing it and it made total sense to us. LM is going to only get 3 gifts for Christmas plus his stocking. Why? Because Jesus only got 3 gifts for Christmas-gold, frankincense, and myrr (I know I spelled them wrong but I cant spell). We also do not want to fall into the commercialism of Christmas. We want LM to know what Christmas really is and it is not about all the toys that you get or a list of things that you want. It is about the birth of our Christ. With out Christmas than we would not be saved.

2. TJ and I go through the whole house at least twice a year and take things to the Salvation Army. We want LM to do this too. But it is going to be up to him what goes and what stays. He is going to go through his own toys and decide what to give to others and what to keep. We will have him make the decision so that he takes an active roll in this and sees how good it feels to give rather than to get.

3. We also plan on taking him with us as we serve in the community and on our short mission trips. By getting to see his parents serve and by getting to serve right next to us as he grows, we are hoping that he will develop a sense of simplicity as well

There are several things that TJ and I have committed to doing differently this year. They are not resolutions. We never make those. These are things that we have committed to the Lord and know that in doing this we are pleasing Him and making Him known in our choices. We are so excited to see how God works in our lives this next year. We are excited to turn from this materialistic world and look to the gifts and over abundance that our heavenly Father has blessed us with! Pray for us as we begin this journey because it is not going to be an easy one but so worth it in the end.

Happy Birthday!

Today is my husband's 30th birthday! I don't have any pics yet but will get some tonight and post them later. But I thought that I would go ahead and post about TJ anyway! This month will mark the 7 year anniv. of TJ and my first meeting. I can't believe that it has been that long! When our friend, Jose, introduced us all those years before who knew that we would end up here? But I am so grateful that we have. Both of us have grown and changed so much in the 7 years that we have been together and the 5.5 that we have been married. But today is TJ's day. TJ is so different today than the day that I met him. When we met, TJ was is his 6th or 7th year of college. He just sort of went, didn't study did't work hard and had no real plans after graduation. He didn't attend church and totally lived life for himself. That is not the TJ of today. I am so proud to call TJ my husband. He is one of the best Christian men that I know. He is so new to the true calling of a christian that he thirsts for more. He has a true passion for working with youth. He really relates and forms lasting relationships. He works so hard to be the man that God has called him to be. He is the leader in our house and his faith is so strong! He has been my rock these past few years. When I was tired and was ready to give up, TJ was there with stead fast faith telling me to keep going. He is such an amazing man. He has gone out of his way to find good male role models and I am so excited that our Little Man will have such an amazing daddy to look up to.
TJ is such a hard worker. He has a career that often means long hours during certain parts of the year. He does not complain. He gets up and goes to work and has been coming home and helping me get LM's room ready. No one can say that he does not give his all and then some.
He is my best friend. Like with all friendships and marriages, we have disagreements but through it all I know that I am blessed. I married my best friend. Have had 7 wonderful years with him. Faced many many hardships that most people do not have to face. I know I am blessed to have this man by my side to walk this path with. There is no one else that I would want to do that with. Here is a list of things that I love about him. I have narrowed it down to 10 but I could go on and on

1. I love his heart for the Lord and the Lord's work
2. I love watching him play and interact with the youth at church
3. I love his secret obsession with shoes. He has almost as many as I do!
4. I love that he denies the few gray hairs that we have found
5. I love that he sings (badly) to any and every song on the radio
6. I love that he takes Capone on car rides just because Capone likes it
7. I love how he has these 2 calics on the back of his head that go in different directions and make him look like a little boy no matter how much gel he puts on them!
8. I love that he counts my brothers as some of his closest friends
9. I love how he talks in his sleep and denies snoring
10. I love how he calls or texts me every morning after we are at work just to tell me good morning and that he loves me even though we had just said good bye

I love that boy!