Thankfulness

Last year, I did a post a day for the month of November, but as you can tell that did not happen this year! I am a little busy chasing around a very active little boy! I would not change that for the world though. Anyway, back to thankfulness... I am actually just going to list a couple of the things that I am thankful for.
1. I am so thankful to be the daughter of a King! God is the center of our lives everyday. Without Him, I would have nothing. God has so richly blessed me with so much more than I deserve. My life did not turn out the way that I thought that it would, but God had bigger and better plans for me. I am so thankful that He loved me, a wretch, enough to send his Son to die on a cross for my sin. As a mother I can not even begin to understand how hard it must have been to watch your own Son die, and not really watch but to turn your back. I know that I take my salvation for granted at times but it is the most important thing in my life. I just forget the magnitude of the sacrifice made for me!
2. My husband is a real blessing and I am so thankful for him. TJ is my rock and my best friend. We have weathered many storms together that have only made us stronger as a couple and as Christians. I am so proud of TJ, he has grown so much in the past few years. He is really growing and flourishing in his role as the leader of this house and as a christian man. He is the first to remind me that we need to turn things over to God and that worrying doesn't accomplish anything. Lately, ?I have been even more thankful for him. When we found out we were expecting this baby, we knew we were not in for an easy trip. The doctors had told us before that with my history of miscarriages, our chances of losing another baby were even higher than normal. But TJ and I immediately dropped to our knees and really believed God and His word and knew that everything would be fine. Anyway, we found out that I would need to take medication in order to sustain the pregnancy. We did that. TJ held my hand after draw after draw of my blood. Twice weekly visits to the dr 30 minutes away for the first 6 weeks. Then weekly visits after that. One horrifying trip to the dr when I started spotting. And being on such severe restriction that I could barely do more than get up from the bed and move to the couch. TJ was there for it all never accepting anything less from me or from God than the best. His faith was unshakable. He picked up the slack where I could no longer do my normal activities. He did the laundry, took on more responsibility with Jerrett, swept the floors and cooked our dinners. He did all of this without complaining except that I was trying to do too much. I love TJ so much and just thank him for all that he has done these past few months and years. I thank God daily that He chose TJ to be my husband. You hear people say that they love their spouse just as much today as the day that they married them. I cannot say that. The truth is that I love TJ so much more now than I did all of those years before. That was a childish love that has grown into a life sustaining everlasting love. He is my best friend and my husband. I cannot imagine my life with out him.
3. Got to add Jerrett to my list! He is my little man and the answer to so many prayers. I cannot imagine what our lives would be like without him either! He has filled a hole that we did not even know was there! The process to bring him home was not a short one or an easy one but we are so thankful that God led us down that road. Jerrett has the biggest heart of any little boy I know. Don't get me wrong, he is ALL BOY, but he is also very tender hearted. He knows when I am sad or something is bothering me without me having to tell him. As much as he loved going to rodeos, he hates seeing the bull dogging and team roping because he is afraid that it hurts the calves. His biggest fear is making me or TJ not happy with him. I hope that he always remains tender hearted. Our prayer for him is that he grows up to be a manly man of God but to remain gentle and tender in spirit. That is something that is so unique to him and I love getting to see him develop into that man everyday. I know that he is only 4, but you can catch glimpses of what is to come. I love that little boy with all my heart and know that God has big plans for him. I am also so thankful for how far Jerrett has come in 9 short months. We still have a long ways to go as far as attachment and true bonding, but he is doing so well! He definitely knows who his mommy and daddy are and we are working on the stranger danger part and appropriate interactions with others. You can see the attachments that form in his small world and it is such a blessing! I thank God daily for Jerrett and bringing him into our lives.

There are many other things that I could list as things that I am thankful for but I am not sure if there would ever be enough time for me to list them all. So to sum it up, I am thankful for the life that God has blessed and trusted me with. There is nothing that I would change. I know that my life is not perfect by many standards but we are made perfect in our imperfections. I am happy with my life and I am one blessed momma!

Long day and random thoughts

I love getting to spend time with my guys. Knowing that tonight I would get to do that is what helped get through a rotten day! Have you ever had one of those that you just wish that you could go back to bed and start all over? That was today for me. J woke up at the crack of dawn and was understandably cranky. Then as we were in my and TJ's bedroom making the bed and getting laundry put up, the door bell rings and the dog goes nut. Seriously who rings the doorbell at 7:00 in the morning. Scared the crap out of me! So I didn't answer the door, what added to me being a big old scaredy cat was Capone running from the front of the house to the back of the house barking and growling like crazy. Anyone who has been around our dog knows that he very rarely makes any noise at all. But the running back and forth freaked me and J out. Come to find out it was just our lawn guy coming to poison the yard for winter weeds. Seriously dude? 7:00 in the morning? Anyway, after I got the kid and the dog calmed down we began our day. Cooked breakfast all the fun morning chores that I do every day. The plan for the day was to go and finish the Caring and Sharing shopping that we didn't get done last night. TJ and I look forward to this every year. His area at work always gets several kids and we get to go shopping for them. Well this year there were many more kids. TJ alone got 5 kids! And we get $100 to spend on each one. Getting things that were on their needs list and getting as much as we can on their wants list makes for quite a bit of chaotic shopping! But Jerrett was a trooper and handled it really well. He helped me pick out clothes and toys for several of the kids. He knows that all of this stuff is going to kids whose families cannot afford to get them Christmas gifts and winter clothes. He is such a sweet little guy and was sad to know that there was a little boy his age who did not have warm clothes or any toys to play with. I hope that his heart is never hardened. I thank God daily for our little man and for the blessing that He has trusted us with.
So that trip went well. When we got home though, that was a different story. I was getting J ready to go down for his nap when I look out his window into the butterfly garden. There laying on top of our flowers in our Dish. Yep this lovely wind that we have been having totally broke the pole that our dish was on in half! A metal pole! So after talking to the Dish Network people, they let me know that a guy would be out to the house after 3 to fix it. That was great because it would give Jerrett about an hour and a half nap that he really needed. 45 minutes later the phone rang and the repair man was on his way! Normally I would love that kind of prompt response but on top of Jerrett needing a nap, this pregnant momma needed one too! I am blessed to have not been sick at all but do get tired a lot. I am sure it has nothing at all to do with trying to keep up with an active 4 year old! So no nap for me! I met the guy outside so that he would not ring the doorbell and start the same barking frenzy that I had to deal with earlier in the day. That seemed to work ok until Jerrett woke up screaming. Thinking that there was something seriously wrong, I run in there to see what is wrong. "Momma there is a man outside my window!" So my hope that the repair man wouldn't wake J didn't work. Oh well. So now J did not get the nap that he needed nor did his momma!
But I knew that we had plans for the evening. TJ, J and I met some of our friends for dinner and then to go out and get ice cream. Alison is my best friend. we have been friends since high school and I love having her so close. She is like an aunt to Jerrett and he loves her to pieces. Alison and Scott's girls are Jerrett's best friends and they play so well together. They were and are such a support for us through the adoption and since as they have been through it. After we got our ice cream we went and did a little birthday shopping for me. I love having birthday month instead of just one day to celebrate!
My friends and I decided long ago that instead of just getting one wish on your birthday, you should get one wish for every year of your age. This year I don't have 30 wishes but just a couple that I would wish over and over. I am so blessed in my life and have everything that I could ever want. There is no material thing that I can even think of wanting. All of my wishes from when I was younger have come true. I have my very own Prince Charming who I love more than he will ever know, I have an amazing smart and sweet little boy who is everything to me, my family is healthy and closer than ever, my mom and dad are moving closer to us, and we have a baby on the way. My life is amazing. A few of my wishes would be, a continued healthy pregnancy, this is a high risk pregnancy and I have been on severe restriction through the whole thing, but if I have to do nothing for the whole 9 months in order for this baby to be born at term then I will do it! I wish that Jerrett will keep adjusting and attaching as he has been. It has been an amazing 9 months with him but has not been without challenges! I wish that I could be a duck, let things just roll off of my back instead of internalizing everything. I get my feelings hurt way to easy. I do not hold grudges or get upset with people but instead turn everything back on myself. That is no healthy for my well being and the stress that it causes is not good for the baby either. I am actually supposed to be totally stress free this whole pregnancy and so far that has not happened at all! Thank goodness that I am healthy and have low blood pressure to start with! Anyway, as I sit here snuggled on the couch with my Prince Charming watching some football, I wish that everyone could be as happy and as loved as I am. I am blessed and know it.

Holidays!

So it has been a month since my last post. There has been some issues going on in our lives that have sort of hindered me from writing as much as I should. There are some things that I have posted that have hurt the feelings of someone and so I had to re evaluate what this blog was about and whether or not I should continue with it. My intention was never to hurt anyone or to leave anyone out but apparently it happened and that is the last thing that I would ever want to do. To that person I am sorry if you felt that you were left out of the blog. It was not intentional. I post about what is going on in our daily lives and didnt really think about those that are not a part of it every day getting upset that they were not mentioned. I was really considering not writing anymore as I dont want to step on toes or make people mad, but TJ convinced me that this blog is not really for other people but it is for us and for Jerrett and for those that are going through the same long journey that we went through. So... I am back. I will continue to post about the daily going ons of our small family and on adoption issues and news. Those are things that I am passionate about. And if there is ever a chance that we can help another person through the process than we will. As well as raise awareness of the issues that come with adoption. I think that there is a great misunderstanding with what goes on after the child is placed and the expectations of how that child should behave. But that is another post for another day. Today I am just going to focus on what is going on right now.
Well in one week it is Thanksgiving. This year has flown by in so many ways! We are approaching the one year anniversary of our placement call! That is crazy! But as Thanksgiving draws near, I am reminded of all the things that I have to be thankful for that I totally take for granted at times. This will be the first year that TJ and I get to spend a holiday with our son. We are so excited to share family traditions with Jerrett this year. It is going to be so special with him there this year. He is definitely the thing that we will be most thankful for this year. We have a healthy, loving little boy. What could be better than that? The plans are for us to leave on Wednesday afternoon when TJ gets off of work and head to my Grandma's house. I am sure that she will have us a wonderful dinner planned for that night. She is really excited because she will get to spend some one on one time with Jerrett. He sure loves his Grandma M and she loves getting to see and play with him too. The next morning we will all get up and watch the Macy's Day parade in our jammies as we begin cooking our Thanksgiving lunch. My parents, brothers, Aunt, Uncle and cousin should all be arriving around 10 or so to help cook and celebrate. Since my family is Italian on this side, our Thanksgiving dinner is not quite as traditional as most people. The majority of our food will be Italian. But it is awesome and plentiful. I never thought of this as odd growing up, it is just what we did. I can promise you though, TJ looks forward to going every year that we are able! He talks about it for weeks in advance and then for weeks afterwards! After we stuff our self on food, it is time for birthday cake and pumpkin pie! This year my birthday is a couple days after thanksgiving but we will celebrate on Thanksgiving like always. After that we will sit around and talk and then my parents, brothers, and my little family will all load up and head to my Granny's house. This one is loud, chaotic and lots of fun. I have lots of aunts, uncles and cousins running all over the place and tons more food to be eaten. Granny's house is small and so we all cram in nice and tight and have a great time. The kids are all shuttled outside at some point to go and play. This used to be my favorite part as a kid. Since Granny and Grandad have a ranch, there was always so much to do and get into. Jerrett loves it there as well. He can run and play and get as nasty as he wants and no one really cares. There is nothing really off limits there since you are so far out in the country. There are always cousins and animals to play with.
We will leave Granny's house Thursday night sometime and drive all the way home because TJ has to work on Friday. We don't expect that he will be there all day so the plan for Friday is decorating for Christmas! I love going and picking out a fresh tree to decorate. This year, we will have J with us. And so it will be even more fun!
The next weekend we are kicking off with even more holiday traditions. We are heading off to the Christmas Train with Mom and Dad. I am so excited to share this with Jerrett. He loves trains and anything western, so he will love this place. TJ and I have been going every year for a long time now. It is a very special place to us. Last year we went with our nieces and nephews and had a blast so I know that this year with J will be even better. Plus this is the first year that my parents are getting to go.
On to my parents. They have amazing news! Dad was hired on to a new bank much closer to where we live! Dad has already moved but Mom will wait until school is over or close to it before she can come. But having them only about 1.5 to 2 hours away will be so awesome! We are all very excited to be close again. It just means that J will get to see them even more. He LOVES my parents and speaks to them almost every day so getting to see them more than once a month will be huge for him. Jerrett and my dad are especially close. I love that they have such a great relationship.
One more bit of news for you before I have to get off and go finish the laundry... Jerrett is going to be a big brother! Yep we found out on Labor Day weekend that we are expecting a baby in May! We are pretty excited and were very nervous for a long time and didn't tell anyone until the first trimester was over due to our past miscarriages. But everything is fine now. God is good. Jerrett is going to be an amazing big brother. We were and are a little nervous as to how he will respond to having to share us and everything but we have faith that God is in control in this situation. There is no difference in the love that we have for Jerrett and the love that we will have for this baby. Jerrett is always going to be our first child and just because he was adopted doesn't make him any different in our eyes. He is our silly monkey and our little man. God had a plan to bring him into our lives because we needed each other. Just as God has a plan for this baby.
Anyway, off to do my chores! Have a safe and fun holiday season and just remember what these holidays are all about, it is not the gifts and the glittery lights, but about a Savior who was born so that we may all have life. Love you and God speed.

Birthday Boy!

Grrr I hate not knowing how to fix my pics! Oh well here are some pics of our sweet birthday boy! The first one is one of his 4 year old pics. He is growing into such a little man! He no longer looks like the baby that we brought home 8 months ago. I cannot believe that it has been that long but it is also hard to remember a time when he was not a part of our family.

The second picture is of J and his little friends at his second party. There is a great little pumpkin patch here in town so we rented out the barn and let the kids have at it. We ate pizza and then went to the pumpkin patch where they each got to pick their own pumpkin off the vine. They loved it! After that we went on a hayride, played in some big haystacks and went through some hay tunnels. The kids were dirty and having a ball. The kids also got to ride in the mule train and had fun with none of the grown ups around. After that we went back to the barn for drinks and cupcakes. We asked that no gifts be brought to J's party only stuffed animals that we could donate to the foster system here in our area. Jerrett did not miss the gifts at all and was happy to know that other kids were getting toys. We are blessed to have such great friends and that they have kids Jerrett's age to play with!

Lets see the next picture is of Jerrett and my brother Chris. Uncle Chris is Jerrett's absolute favorite playmate. Chris is so great with him. They are building with a lego set that Grandma and Grandpa got J for his birthday. The real legos not the big ones for little kids. He was so excited! For days after Chris left, Jerrett tried to rebuild everything exactly like Chris had built it. I am so glad that J loves Chris so much. He was not only my brother growing up but my best friend. He is a wonderful uncle and spends as much time with Jerrett as he can.

This 4th picture is the birthday boy and me. We had his family party at the house in the backyard. We were just hanging out here waiting on his cousins to come and play.

The last picture is what TJ and I did to J's hallway the morning of his birthday. He woke me and TJ up yelling that he needed to potty but couldn't get to the bathroom because there were balloons every where! Later that day he and Capone had a blast popping all of the balloons.

All in all it was a wonderful birthday for Jerrett. It started on his actual birthday when we loaded up and drove 2.5 hours to the airport to pick up his Granny Blood (TJ's mom). Jerrett had not met her before so that was a pretty special birthday gift as well as getting to see all of the airplanes! We got home that afternoon and just hung out at the house with Granny Blood for a while. That evening she went to TJ's sisters house to stay so we started baking. We made cupcakes and a cake for the party. Once we got the sleepy head in bed, TJ and I blew up all the balloons you saw in the picture. It felt like hundreds! The next morning Jerrett had a soccer game. His Aunt Sarah and his Granny Blood came to his game. What a lucky little boy. After soccer we came home and warmed up. About noon or so, Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Chris and Grandma M came. Jerrett was so excited to see them! After lunch a certain birthday boy had to take a nap and my grandma, my mom and I went to the craft fair for a little while and the big boys stayed home and watched football. I guess the party got started around 6 when the rest of TJ's family came over. We had sub sandwiches and cupcakes. when it got dark, TJ lit the fire pit and we made smores. All in all I think that J loved it and it was a special time for him.

We are so blessed to have this little boy in our lives. His birthday is one of those days when you can't help but think of his bio parents. Do they think about him on his bday? Do they miss him? We thank God for them because without them we would not have the healthy happy, smart little boy that we have. As hard as it is to believe that we now have a 4 year old, we would not have it any other way. Jerrett is a special little guy and we love him so much!

Its been a month!

I can't believe that it has been a month since I posted last! But i promised pictures so here are some from the past few months. So once again they posted in random order but oh well. The first one is of J playing soccer. He is doing really well but wishes that he would have been allowed to play up an age class so that he could have been with some of his friends from church. He does not like being younger than they are! Jerrett has so much energy and loves to run up and down the field. He is pretty good at dribbling too which is hard for kids as young as he is. We are very proud!

The second picture was taken at the zoo on Labor Day. We drove to a town about 1/2 way between where we live and where my parents live. I love this shot of J and his grandparents. Even though we live about 5 hours from each other, I do not think that there has been a single month since he has been home that he has not seen his grandparents. And he talks to them all the time on the phone. Anytime that he does anything he wants to call his grampa and tell him all about it. Dad is so good with him!

The next picture is of TJ and J at the county fair. Jerrett loved all of the animal exhibits and the chicks were in the petting zoo. TJ and I think that J is still too small to ride any of the rides so we did not do that but we did have a blast going through all of the exhibits and petting the animals. TJ is such a great daddy. Since he works so much all the time, we try to make the time that he does get to spend with J special.

This final picture is of my Grandma and Jerrett's great grandma. She loves him to pieces and the feeling is mutual. Here they are wading in a creek at a local park. She came up with my mom to spend a long weekend with us this summer.

So on to what we are doing now... Jerrett has his new teeth in. They look great! I am so happy with the dentist that we found. We received Jerrett's new birth certificate! That was huge to see our names on that piece of paper. More than anything we are preparing for a big birthday party! I cannot believe that our big boy is about to turn 4!! It can't be. But he is this Friday. We are having a party this Saturday evening for family. He wanted to have a pirate party so we are going all out. He is pretty excited about it. Then the next weekend we are having another birthday party! This one for his little friends. I talked to a local farmer and he is goin to let us rent out his barn. The kids will go through a corn maze, go on a hay ride, get to pick their own pumpkin from the patch and just have fun running around a farm for the afternoon. I know that my little country boy will love it. Just got to hope that the other kids like it as well!

I promise that I will post pics after the party and do my best to post at least once a week. That might not happen every week but we will see! Have a great fall week!

SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So sorry that its been so long since I have posted. We have had such a crazy month that I have not had a lot of time to just sit down and post. So I will do a quick recap and then hopefully be able to post more often!
First we had our court date! Jerrett is now officially ours, not that he wasnt before in our hearts. But it is legal now. The day was pretty uneventful and anti-climatic. He was already our son. We did not need a judge to tell us what we already knew! But he signed the paper that made it all legal. Now we are just waiting on the new birth certificate and SS card. The next day J had his first set of new teeth installed. They were horrible so we made the dentist take them out and redo them. He gets the second set installed this week. i think that we are all ready to have this over with! Jerrett aced his swim lessons again and got promoted to the advanced class. He loves going to swim lessons and hates the 2 week break between sessions! He has also started playing soccer. It is pretty funny to see a bunch of 3 year olds running around kicking a ball into the wrong goal. But he is having fun and getting to interact with other kids.
This past weeked we had a garage sale at a friends house. That in itself was an experience. I am so much more of a donate to get it out of my house type person! Oh well we are using the money for Jerrett's party and Christmas gifts. Jerrett decided on a pirate party. So that is what we are doing for his family party. we also decided to have a small party for some of his friends at a local pumpkin patch. I think that the kids will love it. Thats about all the time i have to post this morning. Jerrett and I have to run in to town. Hopefully I will see you guys back here soon!

Big day coming up

Tuesday is going to be a huge day for our family! We head to the court house to make J's adoption final! Woohoo!!!! It has been a really short 6 months but at the same time it feels like Jerrett has been with us forever. He is our son in every way possible and we love him so much! We have had such an awesome summer and this is the best way to cap it off. We are so excited to finally have this step done. We will definately be posting pictures from that day soon. It has been such a crazy summer that I have not really had time to post as much as I would like but hopefully things will start to slow down some and I can post more. Right now the boys are watching Alladin and I am finally getting some time to write. We are such a busy little family. Jerrett and I have gotten together with some other stay at home moms in our area and started doing weekly play dates. It is so much fun to have friends! For both of us. I need adult interaction and Jerrett needs to be around kids more. This fall is actually lokking pretty busy too though! Our play dates are moving from the splash park to the library for story time, Jerrett will still have swim lessons, he is playing soccer, Jerrett will be a part of cubbies adn TJ and I are teaching rec at Awanas. This fall also brings about Jerrett's first birthday with us. We are going to do it up big with 2 parties. We will do one party with our families and then one party with his little friends at the pumpkin patch. He is wanting a pirate party so that ought to be fun. I am really excited because all our families are coming. My parents, brothers, both of my grandmas, and some of my aunts uncles and cousins will be here as well as my best friend and her little boy! On TJ's side, his dad and Aleta, his grandma, his mom who has not even met Jerrett yet, both of his sisters and their families, and his step sister and her family! I am totally excited that Amanda will be here and that she and Paul are bringing Wyatt! Wyatt and Jerrett are such great friends and are so much fun to watch together.
All in all it has been a crazy time for our family and it looks like things are only looking crazier! I am going to really try to post more but we will see! We are seriously excited with this next step. We are truly blessed. God is good and really knows what He is doing.